Waiting

A couple of days ago, I was getting upset with the hospital about waiting so long to get results that may determine if I am going to live or if I am going to die. The hospital, in my opinion, was not acting in my best interest by keeping me hanging by a thread. I posted the "conversation" on facebook and this is how it went:

Bruce G. Larson‎ to Florida Hospital Altamonte

November 19 at 2:49pm ·

As a patient, I see that there are too many doctors and affiliated organizations that make up the Florida Hospital network and they have not learned to work together for the benefit of the ailing patient. I don't know if they even communicate with one another other than sending reports back and forth. I have cancer and I have been left hanging too many times. It's all easy for them, but for me, it may mean life or death. I am very disappointed.

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  Florida Hospital Altamonte Hello, Bruce. We are so sorry to hear about your experience. We would like to speak with you about it directly. If you would please direct message us with a phone number where we can reach you, a member of our patient experience team will contact you. Thank you for taking the time to share your feedback.
  
  
• Bruce G. Larson And when will you call back? I left the number about 30 minutes ago
• Bruce G. Larson Well this is like trying to find your ICU nurse - they disappear somewhere...
  
  
• Marjorie Bruce, can you publish in your newspaper? You have waited TOO LONG and suffered not only from cancer but poor patient care management. The strength of a top notch care facility us a real time medical record.
  
  
• Maxine I am so sorry you are experiencing this. Keep the faith.
  
  
  Bruce G. Larson I still have not heard from Florida Hospital. This is quite odd since we are dealing people's lives and if that is not important to them, we are also dealing with millions of dollars. If I call the hospital, I have no idea what department to even start with.
  • 
    Florida Hospital Altamonte Hi Bruce,
    
    We apologize for the delay in response and have contacted a patient experience representative who will reach out to you today.

• Jeffrey Went through the same thing with my dad...wait till they start competing for your "business".
  
  
• Bruce G. Larson Well maybe if they start competing, I will get better service? 
•  Bruce G. Larson I can't help but thinking of the Cancer Treatment Centers of America and how the commercial shows about 6 to 8 doctors gathered around a table discussing the treatment plan and progress of a patient. And really that is the way it should be - if the disease requires the expertise of several doctors with different specialties then they must work together. In my experience, it seems almost like an assembly line where I go from one station to the next. Some status reports might follow me to the next station or they might make sure the reports are there before I arrive. We had doctors with differing views on medications so that leaves me, the patient, wondering who is right and who is wrong.
  
  
• Bruce G. Larson Well someone from the hospital called but did not leave a message. The number on the caller ID is a general incoming phone line. I guess I will - yes, wait - to see if they call back.
  
  
• Bruce G. Larson We called them back and asked for someone in the patient care dept. The woman was not really sure what was going on, but she took the info and is looking into things for us. Vi did a great job working to resolve this mess.
  
  
• Marjorie Post this on your local newspaper 's blog
  
  
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  Florida Hospital Altamonte Hello Bruce, A member of our patient experience team called you back yesterday afternoon and left a voice mail with her contact information. If you would like to speak to her please call her today. We would love to assist you and help resolve any issues you might be having. Thank you for reaching out. All the best.
  
  
• Bruce G. Larson Yes, we did receive a message but we called back and talked with someone in administration and we were please with the results. In fact, promptly at 9:00am this morning (actually, perhaps 8:59am) we received a call to schedule the CT assisted fine needle biopsy with full instructions. Vi and I commented that they are doing the way they are supposed to be doing it now. It is our hope, that this prompt attention to patient needs is carried over for all patients at Florida Hospital. Trust me, the hospital can only benefit and so will the patient.
• Bruce G. Larson This is not the competitive auto repair business. We are dealing with human beings and their lives and their quality of life. Hell, the hospital won't even pay for the "tow" back in if something goes wrong. But they should do all they can in the first place and all necessary and known precautions to assure the patient is well-cared for.
  
  
• Marjorie The US does not rank high against other nation's healthcare. We lack "caring" in the healthcare equation.
  
  
• Bruce G. Larson Yet we have the ability to change that. Hospital administrators: Listen to the patients and listen to the nurses...
  
  
• Cindy Bruce, I take it they are not a Comprehensive Cancer Center? Mine is and the doctors roundtable my case.
  
  
• Bruce G. Larson The roundtable, Cindy, is precisely what I was referring to earlier in this conversation.I feel the hospital and the patient and their families would benefit greatly. In the healthcare field, it often can mean the difference between life and death and quality of life.
  
  
• Wendy The way I look at Cancer Doctors and group practices, you should be assigned to ONE Main doctor. From there, he should confer with other doctors in other specialty areas with cancer and healthcare for opinions, treatment options and if necessary a visit to those doctors. From there, those doctors should get with your MAIN doctor, tell them what they found, what they recommend and let your MAIN doctor write the orders. I do know doctors send reports and recommendations to your primary and yes they do read them. I just feel like you will be seeing your MAIN doctor for everything and he should the first in line to know EVERYTHING that is going on in your treatment, scans, biopsies, etc. He should know the whole you from top to bottom. This way, there are no errors. Groups are great because they talk to each other a few times a week and go over all the cases and get each other's opinions. But in your case, it sounds like Florida Hospital is dropping the ball somewhere. My girlfriend goes to Moffitt here in Tampa. When she does her follow-up scans and blood work, she has to stay all day because they read them, go over them and tell her the same day what is going on. I like Moffitt because of their care and treatment. She is going on 5 years with a rare kind of cancer and two bone marrow transplants later....is she cancer free? Yes for now. It did come back and she got a second transplant. She did get graft vs. host disease and that in itself presents a whole new set of issues. She has her team in Tampa working with her doctor in Orlando to help get this under control and get her well. I feel the frustration you are going through With cancer, time is of the essence, It's not the type of thing you want to let go for weeks. It is the type of cancer that needs treatment NOW. Good luck with this. Start calling them every half hour till you get someone. Better yet, get in the car and go down there.
  
  
  Bruce G. Larson I agree with the "ONE MAIN" doctor concept, Wendy. It makes perfect sense. A "central communication command" for associated medical and patient needs. I am also having problems with return to work issues (which doctor takes care of this) and now I don't see my surgeon for 2 months, so who is my contact for medications, general questions, concerns? This is where we, the patients and their families, are left hanging. The hospital offers no guidance whatsoever.
  
  
  • Wendy Your primary doctor or main oncologist is the one to issue medications, but having to wait two months to see the surgeon? Is that for the biopsy in the lung??
  • Bruce G. Larson No, that is follow-up on the mouth. My "case" will be transferred to a doctor specializing in lung cancer. Why do I feel like I am in a pinball machine>
    
    
  • Rita so sorry

Belle It makes me very sad that patients need to have an "advocate" and/or create a public stir because PEOPLE with whom we entrust our care DRoP the ball!! It happens far too often. We become a mere price tag, account number, or annoyance on the phone! What the hell more do they "expect" out of sick patients??

• Bruce G. Larson Imagine those that may not have the ability to realize something is wrong. The elderly who may not be thinking clearly, the mentally ill who may not understand, those who are alone and have no one to see what is really going and what about those who are simply too ill to know much of anything. We should trust everyone in the medical field. We don't have much choice. Once they start on us, how do we know when it us time to stop and change doctors? We were in the lobby of a doctor the other day and someone was hoping they would not have to see this particular doctor because he had a poor "bedside manner." It seems they choose this field for a reason. I hope they are always able to remember that reason and what factors inspired that reason.

  
  
• Belle Yes ! I see the Big Picture as you do, my friend ! Blows my mind!

  
  
• Belle If you have an ADVOCATE make the calls, you will get better treatment!! What does that say about some of the receptionists, nurses, physicians, and other staff members?
  (Actually, the ADVOCATE is getting better treatment!)

Yet another set-back

More headaches

We thought things were looking pretty good. The uncertainty surrounding the PET Scan results was laid to rest since there was no more cancer discovered in the mouth.

They did find a small mass in the lower right lung that appeared to be cancerous. The next step was to see my oncologist, have him review the findings and determine the new plan.

This plan, as we understood it, would include a fine needle biopsy of the tissue in the lung and then move forward - possibly involving surgery followed by chemotherapy to assure that new little beast was gone for good.

Well we got the oncologist's office early since we were anxious and looking forward to getting this surprise phase of the roller coaster ride off to a smooth start.

No such luck. I had blood drawn and my port flushed as part of the normal procedure at the oncologist. Once we met with the doctor, he said it was all put on hold since the surgeon's office failed to send the full PET Scan report.

He will need to get that information and then schedule another appointment to discuss those results. This is what we were supposed to do at the appointment today.

The oncologist will need to determine if this cancer discovered in my lung is a separate cancer incident or is secondary to the mouth cancer. In other words, did the cancer spread.

I have a return to work order scheduled for December 1. Now, we don't know if that is a good date or not. I may need surgery again and see what follow-up treatment will be administered.

I posted my displeasure on facebook and someone at the hospital did not appreciate the negative reference for the public to see. They contacted me within the hour and asked if I would message them with a phone contact number. I complied immediately, then waited. Again. For over an hour and by that time it was past 5:00 pm so we assumed this was going to be first on the agenda tomorrow.

We want to get this behind us. We want to celebrate a newly-declared cancer-free status and start our lives over with a whole new outlook. Instead, we wait.

Update: November 20, 11:27 am. Someone from the hospital left a reply on my facebook page indicating a patient care representative will "reach out" to me today (sounds familiar for some reason). This is the response:

Florida Hospital Altamonte Hi Bruce,
We apologize for the delay in response and have contacted a patient experience representative who will reach out to you today.

In the meantime, I will wait. Again.

The fear of cancer

Cancer is a serious disease and there is still a lot we have to learn about it. It is that lack of knowledge, I think, that can cause us to fear the disease as much as most of us do.

I will try to explain the fears I have with cancer. It will be difficult because the feelings and emotions are very deep and complex. The word itself, to me, is frightening. The cause, in many cases, is not known.

Treatment is not always successful and the treatment methods used are quite old, although, they have been refined over the years. And these methods leave behind a trail of destruction killing good cells as they kill the targeted cells nearby.

The disease can strike anyone of any race or background, of any age, in any region. Once it finds a home in someones body, it can move like a freight train knocking out anything that gets in its way. Chewing like the familiar Pacman chompers.

Cancer scares me and while I am more familiar with it now that when I was first

introduced to it in March of this year, I am still ignorant of the disease. I find myself asking questions and wondering if it will continue on its destructive path or pop up somewhere else just to prove its savagery.

Usually, the doctors do not know either and they might not speculate for fear it might be wrong. I can understand that to a point, but as a patient, I would like to have some idea of what to expect. It's my life we are talking about here.

On the brighter side, I didn't know that there were so many survivors. The American Cancer Society says new estimates of cancer survivors in the US has reached almost 14.5.

But take it from me, those numbers are meaningless to current cancer patients. All we know is what we are experiencing now. We are instructed to keep a positive attitude. It's supposed to help increase our chances of survival. That may or may not be true, but it sure makes the roller coaster ride a lot smoother.

Almost everyone in the US will be touched by cancer in one way or another. They may have been diagnosed, or a loved one or long-time friend or any other acquaintance. It is sure to happen and the more we know about cancer, the better off we will all be.

One of the best ways to beat cancer is early detection. The sooner we discover we have cancer, the sooner the medical staff can start the treatment program. "Nip it in the bud," as Barney Fife would say. And he is right. Catching the cancer before it expands its claimed homestead in your body, the better off we would be. Further, it reduces the chances of giving the cancer the opportunity to spread throughout the body. If in doubt, check it out! See your doctor if you have any suspicious lumps or other abnormal conditions. It cannot hurt, it can only help.

Check out the WebMD health check for cancer here. But to be certain, get with your doctor. It could save your life.

PET Scan update

It turns out there was no cancer found in the mouth again which is great news - mouth surgery and the recovery is awful - add to that reconstruction - it is a horrible thing to go through and I feel for all of you that have gone through this or will be going through it.

There was a cancer cluster found in the lower part of one of my lungs. I will be getting a biopsy of that soon then they will decide how to attack that. Have to have an appointment made.

I do not have to see the head and neck surgeon for two months. Overall, it is good news, prayers were answered - I know this. I still have lots of recovery ahead from the radiation therapy. I received the maximum amount a person can receive. So they may be able to remove the cancer in the lung followed by chemotherapy. I meet with my regular oncologist Wednesday.

Corinthians

My son's birthday

Scott and Laura Larson

Today, November 16, is my son's 30th birthday. His name is Scott and I love him dearly. The day after his birthday, Monday, I will learn the results from the PET Scan.

I pray that I will have good news for him. He is waiting anxiously to hear what the doctors have to say. He lives in Denver, Colorado, so we do not see each other as much as we both would like to.

Last August, he married Laura Smith in Las Vegas. It was my first time to Vegas and that trip will probably be my last, but I would not have missed his wedding for anything. Laura is a wonderful woman and I feel very comforted when I see the way they get along with each other. They have a good marriage and I am very proud of my son and Laura.

As with most parents, I would want Scott to bury me rather than I bury him. Still, I would like to live longer to be able to continue the work I do with writing for hypeOrlando - Orlando helping Orlando and for the Orlando Charity examiner. I would want to continue working with various charities and to continue serving on the board for New Directions Community Outreach.

Of course, I would also like to be here and grow old with Vida and to be there for my parents and my brother and sister. We are a very close family. I do not recall any arguments that created any grudges or hard feelings that were not ironed out.

Sadly, I see many families that are torn apart and was never really able to understand how that could happen within a family. Not with ours.

For now, I can say Happy Birthday, Scott! May we enjoy many more birthdays to come. And may the quality of my life not be jeopardized. I just feel that this is the way it should be and am hopeful the news tomorrow will reflect that instinct.

Who's to blame?

What do we do or how do we respond when someone else finds blame for the cancer that we have?

It happened to me. It was like why did I ever have to go and get cancer and why should they suffer when I am the one with cancer.

The factual part first. They doctors do not know for sure what caused the cancer. It could be any one of several factors. It appears they do not know enough about the disease to even determine its cause. Look at the young children. They have not really lived long enough to have started any bad habits or diets. Yet they suffer right along with the rest of us.

Certainly, cancer is not fair. There is no disease that could ever be considered fair. Things happen to people and that is something we need to learn to deal with. We can do all the right things, it seems. We can see the doctor and do everything he or she says. We can pray for our continued health. But something sneaks in and takes over.

I know a musician who looks like he is in perfect health. He works out, eats health foods and tries to do everything to maintain a healthy lifestyle. But shortly after I was diagnosed, he learned that he had a softball size cancerous tumor in his chest cavity. As far as I know, how he contracted this remains a mystery.

We really cannot blame someone who has cancer. It is better to deal with the disease and focus on whatever it takes to defeat the cancer. While many factors can contribute to a delay in recovery, stress is certainly plays a major role in limiting the effectiveness of any treatment program.

So lets try not to play the blame game. Lets do all we can to get healthy and put the cancer chapter behind us.

Lord, help me to see it from the middle

Tomorrow is my PET Scan. Bright and early - 6:30 am we have to be there so I can get the vitals taken, get me prepped then shoot me with some kind of radioactive dye, as I understand it.

The process alone is not something to look forward to. It may take about 3 hours total and 1/2 hour or more of that is laying flat on my back while the actual scan takes place. Flat on my back is still not easy. After the recent surgery, my neck and throat are swollen again putting pressure on my airway on top of the trouble I have with my airway to begin with. We will see how all that works out,

But the whole purpose of the scan is to get results. And that is the difficult part right now. The full body scan will reveal where all the cancer has traveled to and to what intensity.

I look one way and I see a minor amount of cancer contained in one area. We know it is still in my oral cavity and I am hoping it has not ventured farther than that. There is the concern of the reconstructive surgery that may be necessary. Another of the many variables. I was assured by the nurse that they are very good at reconstruction - that little, if any, deformation would result.

Then I look the other way and I see darkness, gloom, the end of my days. I have seen many since I have first stepped into this cancer journey that have reached terminal status. It is possible. That is the logical part of me taking over. But what are the chances? I really do not know and the doctors and nurses are very careful to not speculate on my condition until they have all the data. I understand that completely.

So why do I find it difficult to stay focused in the middle. That it may go either way and I just need to find comfort somehow until the results are in - and that may be several days after the scan itself.

Psalm 119:50

My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.

Psalm 23:4

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

I admit, my Faith is not unfaltering, but that is something I am working on. This is an ideal time for me to come to terms and turn this dilemma over to the hands of God, to place my Faith unto Him. I try and I am trying harder now that I have in the past.

I can only win. I submit to the tests and the prognosis of the doctors that I have entrusted my life with. I will do all that they say.

With that, all that is left is what is going on in my mind and I can choose the bad or the good or I can remain in the middle and pray that I will accept whatever God has in store for me and accept that He knows best.

Will I ever be able to eat normally again?

Percutaneous endoscopic gastrostomy (PEG) Tube feeding device

Much of what we do in the course of our daily lives involves many things that we simply take for granted. We don't give a lot of these much thought, it's all just part of what we do.

Some of these things include breathing, talking, tasting, swallowing and eating. Sounds easy enough, but with oral cancer, some or all of these "easy" tasks may become nearly impossible.

Breathing is a must. Talking, I suppose, if we had to, could do without. It is not essential for life. Eating and swallowing are two areas I am addressing here.

Since the initial surgery in March, I have been getting my nourishment through a feeding tube. The doctors specified Glucerna with 350 calories. I try to eat in the normal way through my mouth, but there are two critical components of eating and swallowing that have changed as a result of the surgery.

The first is that all of my lower teeth were removed to try to eliminate the cancer cells in the jaw and gums. I can try to eat soft foods, but there is another problem.

The surgeon had to take part of my tongue since there were cancer cells in it. They did their best to reconstruct it, but the good part of the tongue works, it's the other part that just kind of dangles and tries to follow the rest of the tongue.

Most do not realize this since it is a normal reaction, but when I put food in my mouth I an unable to maneuver the food to send it down the throat.

I have tried and tried to eat. I think of some food that might work and it doesn't. Strained soup, "wet" mashed potatoes with gravy, moist puddings all seem to work fairly well. If any of it is somewhat dry, the food just kind of sits there in my mouth and no matter how I move my tongue, it won't go anywhere other than where it is.

I cannot tell you how difficult it is to walk up and down the aisles at the grocery store and see all the food I used to love. But all I can do is look at it. It's just another thing I can see but cannot do.

So many things I miss but I have to adjust; I have to find alternatives or I will simply drown in my own sorrows and that is something I don't want that to happen.

We have been looking in some of the support group pages on facebook and some actually take the dinner others are having and blend it up into a consistency that will work.

The holidays are coming. The "Food" holidays - those associated with get-togethers, pot-lucks, work-related dinners and of course the abundance of food and treats at home. We will find alternatives. We have to.

In fact, if the readers here have ideas, let me know. Maybe we can start an online cookbook of sorts. If we get enough recipes, we can even segregate by consistency.

Where there is a will, there is a way. Find alternatives, find what works for you. It may take awhile and it may at first seem frustrating, but eventually, it will all work out.

Faith

Three things we need when faced with cancer are Faith, Hope and Courage. But what happens when one or all of these become difficult to muster?

We pray, we ask for help and we often beg for help. Sometimes, that help does not always come when we want it it. Sometimes it seems it does not come at all. Where do we turn to then?

Faith is a difficult and delicate subject. Some pray and may have an entire team praying with them but it seems all efforts fail. We cannot explain how God works. When we see a loved one die or a small child suffering from cancer it's easy for us to wonder where God was and even ask if he even cares.

We have to maintain the Faith that God does care, that He does listen to our prayers and that there must be some divine plan that we are unable to understand.

Proverbs 2:8

for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones.

He does not proclaim that He will keep any of us free from death, but he does provide for us eternal life in the Kingdom of Heaven. Death, we have to understand, is a part of the life cycle.

Ultimately, I have to understand and have the Faith that God cares for me while I struggle with cancer. I have to believe that there is comfort in trusting Him and that there will be eternal comfort if I should perish.

My time here will be that much more meaningful when I live my life the best I can. To serve Him with all my heart and to always try to do unto others the way I would want them to do unto me. We have all heard that before but we often find it easier to turn the other way.

What we ask of others as we battle cancer should help us to know what others want and need. In doing good, our work is pleasing in the eyes of God.

The waiting game

One thing we have been exposed to often throughout this entire roller coaster ride is waiting.

We wait for lab tests, wait for scan results, wait to get calls back about issues of concern. Sometimes the wait is short and the resolution is simple and sweet.

Other times, and this happens more often, the process is very complex and we have to wait and wait. It seems our wait is almost endless. Waiting to hear the results that are a matter of life and death are difficult. They play on our minds, our senses, our entire thought process.

I touched on this subject with a good friend who is waiting on results to determine what is causing double vision in one eye. He is a man of intense Faith and I admire him greatly.

We discussed how it is always better to not speculate while we wait. The fact is, we simply do not know what is going on and our minds can take us to extremes that only caused even greater anxiety and stress.

Looking to the Bible, Psalms references waiting several times. Looking at them all, the message is quite evident: wait in confidence that the Lord hears our prayers, He knows we are waiting and asks that we have the strength and the courage to trust Him.

Psalm 27:14

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

Psalm 33:20

We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield.

Psalm 40:1

I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.

Psalm 130:5

I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope.

He knows my concerns, He knows my family is concerned as well as my friends and associates. He has got it covered.

Psalm 46:10

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

What's next for the insurance industry: Pre-authorizations required for defibrillator procedures?

I had mentioned the biopsy taken during the surgery to remove the enlarged lymph node. During the surgery, the lymph node could not be found, but the biopsy revealed that more cancer was found in my gum and jaw.

I was taken back. I had honestly felt I was on the rode to recovery. I was ready to call myself a "survivor." I cannot do that now.

What's next for me is a complete PET Scan to reveal how extensive the cancer is and where it may have traveled to.

The PET Scan is scheduled for Wednesday, November 12. The insurance company, however, threw us a major curve ball:

This was taken directly from my facebook page:

We may have a hold up thanks to the insurance company. Evidently, they need pre-approval for the PET Scan. The hospital office called today and said they are doing all they can to submit the paperwork, but if it does not go through, I have to sign responsibility for the bill. That is not possible, I could never afford it. So what does this mean? The cancer blue meanies will have a great time spreading to any part of my body they want to while we wait for the insurance company. That is so wrong. They are supposed to be concerned about my health. This is my life we are talking about. I don't see that they really care.

Here are some responses:

Phil: The insurance companies have earned your anger..... Praying that God keeps everything under control until the insurance company and the hospital gets their heads out of their collective back ends....... The stress that they are put you and Vida through is totally unnecessary.

Joe: Rule number one: worry about bills later. Seriously.

Karen: I have had cancer, spent almost a year at Duke University Medical Center, and I know your plight. Focus on your health and sign whatever you have to in order to get the treatment you need. Your health is your wealth, the money stuff will work itself out.

Shelaine: Call the insurance company and tell them it's a life-threatening situation. Demand immediate action. If you get the run around, ask the person how would they feel if the roles were reversed. Bombard the insurance company with e-mails. Let them know you need immediate treatment.

Wendy: Let the insurance company know that the doctor made a mistake and now you need a PET scan to see what he missed. You will have approval within a few days.

Eric: Joe's rule #1 is spot on.
It's OK to get frustrated and vent too brotha, better out than in I always say. I liked to scream into a paper bag or make fun of people on the internet

Cammie: I agree Bruce. I know this is tough decisions but nothing is more important right now that stopping this Cancer!!! We will do fundraisers, beg, borrow & plead for your health and for your life! Anytime! I think this needs to happen anyway-you needn't worry about money-only about your life & Vida Bolyard Larson many prayers!

Marlane: Awful to hear this. The added stress alone is horrible at a time when one feels vulnerable enough. I have known this to happen to many people...praying this get resolved...and the test is approved...no one could afford the high cost of these tests...the co-pays are high enough...

Lance: I am thinking about you Sir.

Tammy: That is horrible!! Praying for u & hoping one day karma gets these dam insurance companies!!

Michele: Bruce... I am Praying God's miracles for you! In Jesus Name and by His stripes and healing power! Amen

Karen: Listen to the advice above. Praying for you.

Cherie: Praying for you

Rhonda: You're in my prayers

Carla: Insurance companies - so rich but lacks compassion

Susie: My God, unreal!

Estelle: I don't know the American system, but honestly this sounds barbaric! Get the scans and let them sue you later or something. Just get the treatment stuff DONE first. They can't take it back off you can they

Diana: Unbelievable praying for you!!

Richard: Ive heard so many cases over the years of insurance companies letting people suffer of die because they want their money. I hope you get better soon bruce

David: Praying for you Bruce.

Shirley: Praying for you and Vida. Bruce I had no insurance when I was first diagnosed in 2006. With God's help and a lot of faith I signed repayment agreements and had my first surgery. I managed to pay it off. Many surgeries later I have insurance and I am making payments again on the most recent surgery. A never ending cycle.

Maxine: So sorry you have to deal with this.

Bruce G. Larson Based on all of your comments and suggestions, Vida called the surgeon's office. They are going to get with the powers that be (you know, those people and companies that try to dictate your health based on their own greedy wants and desires) and the PET Scan will likely go as originally planned. Thank you!

Cammie: So grateful you have someone like Vida to advocate for you. My husband does my heavy lifting and usually finds someone with compassion along this journey. Never give up!

Luis: Be patience and trust in God. We are praying for you.

Brittany Maynard: Was it the right choice?

Brittany Family Photo

A little about Brittany from The Brittany Maynard Fund, Compassion & Choices:

"This spring, 29-year-old newlywed Brittany Maynard learned that she had terminal brain cancer. After careful assessment of her prognosis and end-of-life choices, she and her family reluctantly decided to move from their San Francisco Bay Area home to Oregon, one of five states (including Washington, Montana, Vermont and New Mexico) that authorize death with dignity.

Brittany recognizes it is unfair that the vast majority of people cannot access death with dignity because they do not have the resources and time to uproot their family, seek appropriate medical care and establish a support system."

This issue, the right of a person decide if they should live or if they decide to end their life creates a controversy in my own mind. Advocates call it death with dignity. Presumably, in this case, Brittany chose a quick and painless death instead of a long, drawn out death filled with both physical and emotional pain for the patient as well and the family and friends alike.

According to the Oregon Health Authority website: "On October 27, 1997 Oregon enacted the Death with Dignity Act which allows terminally-ill Oregonians to end their lives through the voluntary self-administration of lethal medications, expressly prescribed by a physician for that purpose."

In my case, I would sure have to have more than one and perhaps several opinions if a single physician determined if I was terminally ill with cancer. If you read the earlier posts on this blog, you will recall that my family physician was barely even concerned about the lump in my jaw. It was determined that they will "just keep an eye on it."

Then I went to the Emergency Room twice and on both occasions, I was diagnosed with having a salivary gland stone and both times it was determined that lemon drops will help ease the stone out of the gland and I will be cured.

It was not until I went to the Ear, Nose Throat specialist that they had suspicions that it was something worse and they referred to the Head and Neck Surgery Center at Celebration Health. a fine needle biopsy revealed I actually had cancer - more than three months after the first botched diagnosis.

And actually, when I look back about six years ago, I was hospitalized after I was bitten by a swarm of fire ants while I photographing a fund-raising walk for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. While I in the hospital, a doctor came in and said he wanted to take a look at things prior to surgery. He lifted the gown up to expose my abdominal area. I asked what he was doing and he said he was checking the area prior to my gall bladder surgery. I set him straight in a hurry and he realized he made a mistake. Thank God an orderly did not make the same mistake and wheel me down to remove my gall bladder.

But this points out how we simply cannot take the word of a single physician when there are issues involving critical health decisions.

Referring to a more recent post on this blog, several physicians, specialists and technicians noted from a CT Scan that a lymph node had grown in size since the last CT Scan. Based on this finding, I was scheduled for surgery to have that lymph node removed.

After surgery, we learned the lymph node in question could not be found. An additional incision was made to look at an area lower from the first incision, hoping the lymph node would be there. It wasn't. Thankfully, there were some other operations they were going to perform during that same surgical procedure.

I am hoping Brttany Maynard and her family had her condition checked, double-checked and triple-checked prior to any decisions being made. If this was the case, I still do not feel I am in a position to judge Brittany or any decisions she may have made. None of us, even Brittany's immediate family, do not know all that was going through her mind when she made the final decision.

Being of sound mind may not even be possible if someone has been diagnosed with a terminal illness. I was told that if I was not able to undergo the radiation treatments as prescribed, I would only have about five to six months to live. I suppose that can be considered a "conditional terminal disease."

I decided I was going to take this head on and do everything I could to beat this cancer that was threatening my life. But again, I did not have an absolute terminal illness. So who am I to say what Brittany was felling. I simply cannot say.

I have seen a friend  die slowly in hospice, but I cannot say he was in pain. He responded to those he loved. Up until the end, he showed the love he had for his wife in the best way he was able to. He was diagnosed as terminal when it was determined that there were no other treatment plans available that could help him.

On the other side, I have many profess that they were given a maximum life expectancy. In other words, they were told they had one year or five years, etc. to live yet they far surpassed the estimate by several years and they were still going strong.

Did Brittany make the right decision? I do not feel I am in a position to say. It is her life and her family was with her all long the way. Surrounded by loved ones until your final breath sounds like a dignified way to die.

Rest easy, Brittany. If there is now a debate as to whether you are in heaven or hell - well that is not for me or anyone else to say either. That decision is in loving hands of our Almighty Father. And that is fine with me. I trust Him and have faith in Him.